We sat at sunset on the warm sand
Hands curled around fistfuls of soft earth,
Summer dresses blowing around our thighs
And watched the ocean.
My children danced in and out of its foam gathering handfuls and watching the bubbles crumble away.
The men were far away, drinking from sweaty bear bottles in their jeans and white t's.
Your face was peaceful, open, and ready
to walk down an aisle in which you saw your future.
We spoke women talk of husbands and children
And how God was filling the sky in colors we would never
Be able to replicate.
Tears flowed from our eyes in the knowledge that we were connected forever.
The moment was broken when my three came to sit on our laps and wiped our faces with sandy hands.
Our laughter filled the air. The moment was whole.
We were whole.
And then, just last week
You took yourself out of life,
a needle hanging from your arm.
Loneliness, pain and loss, had stolen your smile, your laughter, and your radiant hope. All that remained was the bones of the past, hidden in some cave of your mind.
I ache for one more moment to see your smile, that sky, return to a time where life was beautiful for us both. But that will never happen. And so my friend, I will carry you in my memory when I can rid myself of carrying the heaviness of your death.